A.D.D.endum

Everyone I know has attention deficit, and they say it with great pride. It's a bad time to be right.
Joni Mitchell

So it has been three months since I was first diagnosed with A.D.D. My doctor put me on a drug called Wellbutrin that is supposed to elevate my mood and help me focus better. However, I don't think it is quite working the way that it should. When I take it (and I don't always remember to take it) my mood is definitely uplifted. I am also able to see things from a clearer perspective. And THAT is the problem. Pre-A.D.D. I knew that I was kind of scattered, kind of cluttered, but I was able to get through life in a somewhat absent minded fog. I was, some might say, the classic ditzy blonde. Now post-A.D.D. I am taking the meds and everything is definitely clearer. However, it only seems to illuminate every fault and every flaw. My blissful oblivion has become a woeful cognizance. My clutter has become chaos. My lack of focus has become an excess of distraction. I have traded in delight for distress, contentment for resentment. I can't seem to get anything under control...my chores, my schedules, my temper, even my laundry. Everything seems overwhelming and unmanagable. I almost welcome my once complaisant absentmindedness. It is better than my current self-deprecating cognizance.