Partners and Pasts: A Deaux

While you agree, you are lovers; and when it is over, anything but friends. - Lord Byron

Can and should friendships be allowed to flourish between former flames? Can one be "just friends" with an ex? Emotional intimacy is an important part of any relationship. Therefore, retaining and maintaining a relationship with a previous lover has the cumulative effect of draining that emotional intimacy from the current relationship.

My Prince Charming has just such a past. A past that I was not altogether aware existed. A past with a passion and longing that have (or had) remained. At least until I discovered it.

My insecurities and old wounds compound the issue. I would love to say that I am a strong, and self-confident person. But I am not. I still worry if I am truly capable or worthy of giving and receiving love...at least the kind of love that moves mountains. Therefore, a chance turn of a phrase or a casual e-mail, can cause those old wounds to reopen. My self doubt is constantly questioning...Are you young enough? Pretty enough? Smart enough? Thin enough? There are times when I want to lash out and hurt him the way he has hurt me. Then there are days when I long to contact her...to hear what her role in all this is...perhaps to remind her that she needs to move on as well, that he is mine now. But I don't. And I won't. And I hope that as time passes, memories will fade. For all of us.